I know what you’re thinking, crazy legs over the head love making
but better sex isn’t the only reason Yoga will have a
positive impact on your love life….
The reason arguments escalate is because we react instead of respond. So what’s difference? One breath. That’s right, it only takes one breath to come into the moment, become aware of sensations building in your body and hopefully respond constructively. When we argue the stress hormone cortisol is released, our heart rate escalates and it becomes exceedingly difficult to remain in control. In yoga we are constantly being taught to come into the moment by synchronising breathe with movement. We learn to be silent observers of the mind and of sensations in the body, the perfect training ground for making you a peacemaker on the battlefield that relationships can be.
It’s difficult to speak from the heart, to be open and honest about the real issue at hand. I would say nine times out of ten when an argument erupts at my place it has nothing to do with what is really going on. Usually, the scenario is that the disgruntled party does their best to bury some ill feelings which inevitably fails and a rant about something outrageously trivial and unrelated ensues. Being honest and speaking your heartfelt truth comes from a place of awareness. Yoga teaches us awareness and to be connected to our body, which never lies! If there’s something I need to get off my chest (or my heart) I can sometimes feel a constriction in my throat which is an indication that my throat chakra (responsible for allowing us to speak our truth) is blocked. I spend some time breathing green light into my heart and blue light into my throat to open the chakras and get clear on what I really need to communicate. In yoga we also practice poses or asanas which open the heart and the throat chakras, a great example of this is the wheel pose.
No one is perfect. It’s easy to find fault with others but I would argue it’s even easier to find the good once it becomes our habit to do so. There are always going to be things that annoy us about our partners but if you want to be in a happy relationship we must accept and love every part of them without conditions. Eliminate the phrase “if only he/she …” from your vocabulary because nobody else is responsible for your happiness. Make it your habit to focus on the good in the person you’ve chosen to spend your life with and accept the rest. Unless of course you are in a toxic relationship then love yourself and get out!
The reason yoga makes your sex life better isn’t increased flexibility, (although it doesn’t go astray) it’s because you have the tools to get out of your head and into your body. This topic was discussed with my target focus group (AKA my girlfriends over wines) and it was unanimous that the difference between reaching orgasm or not comes down to mental chatter. With an internal dialogue like “bugger, I wish I’d done some grooming” or “did I set the alarm?” it’s no wonder the love boat sails on without us. The good news is we can turn it around, just like in Yoga we can tune into the breath and synchronise it with movement. Another technique is to focus on sensation building in the body, every time your mind wanders return your awareness to the sensations. Now that’s my idea of a moving meditation!
Wishing you all the love in the world!
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